Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Ahhhh what do I do? I tried people...seriously I tried. I did the whole "re-light the flame" shit, and it has not worked. What worries me more is that I want to one day marry this man because he is everything my soul desires. So what is the problem you may ask? Well.... here is my confession: my ex has arrived on the scene. Yes, he popped up and has me more confused. I try to remind myself, "Self, you guys broke up for a reason!", but just the very thought of being "naughty" has me curious.
Yea, yea, yea I already know what you are thinking..."you are not married nor obligated to your boyfriend". Well what if I do it, and it sucks? I will feel worse than before, but...what if I fulfill my curiosity and it is the experience of a lifetime? That makes it okay right? lol
Listen to me trying to convince myself to do bad. When in reality it is the LUST that is driving my hormones, and it is that same LUST I am trying to get back in my relationship. So once again I am back to my original question, how do I get the LUST back with the man I actually LOVE?
1. Don't bend down to sip from your straw. This is sooooo elementary! Pick your glass up and enjoy your beverage!!!
2. Don't lay down the law on your first date. You're not a drill sergeant so keep the convo light and simple!
3. Don’t talk about sex on the first date. This topic may curb your date's interest in YOU & activate their one track mind.
4. Don't fish for compliments. Probing for praise is the best way to annoy your date and reveal your insecurities.
5. Don't answer your phone during a date. This rude gesture will leave you date feeling like you're just not that into them.
When approached with the opportunity to write about my 'dating escapades' I turned it down without a thought. After some convincing, I decided what the hell! It’ll be anonymous so I'll give it a go. Where do I start? I've been single for the last 2 years. My last relationship lasted for 3 years and we nearly got married. I called off the wedding four months before the actual wedding date because honestly I just wasn't ready. I felt compelled to propose once we found out she was expecting but I had this gnawing voice telling me that this wasn't the right thing to do. I broke the news to her over dinner and I felt like the worst person on earth at the sight of her tears. Now she and I are proud parents who are cordial solely for the sake of our son. So here I am single in Houston. I began dating again about a year ago and I must say women are damn near impossible to please! But that’s a whole other story that I'll touch on some other day. This feels weird writing about this but I guess it will take some getting use to...Later.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I woke up this morning and thought about nothing more than going to work. For the first time in a long time I don't think about the fact that I am alone. I don't need to have someone in my life in order to feel happy, not that I'm happy or unhappy. I just am... Could it be that I have developed the "I'm just fine being by my myself" wall? The same wall that has ended many a relationship. The same wall that has left me in the same place that I am now, only suffering and feeling completely worthless. I guess I should feel happy that I am not like that, right?
Hello All!!!! Okay so let me set the scene... I'm in my office today checking my work email, preparing for today's presentation that I have to present to some VERY important clients and.... my cell phone rings. My screen reads a name that makes my heart drop, Kai! Now let me back track, who is Kai you ask? Kai is the ONE man that I have ever loved in my adult life. I have always been viewed by my friends as the 'workaholic' and for the most part their view of me was accurate. I work 24 hours a day and not because I love my job but because I'm good at it and it pays extremely well! For this reason I saw men a as deterrent from making money. Kai should've been viewed no differently but for some reason I've allowed his handsome looks and charm to interrupt my tunnel vision. Allowing him into my heart proved to be one of the worst mistakes of my life! I've known Kai for years, through mutual friends, and I understood him to be quite the ladies man. For this reason, I set my mind to avoid catching feelings at all cost and I was doing well until one day my bullet proof armor was powerless. I fell in love and HARD but so did he...I think. We soon made our relationship public and his girlfriend of 6 years (yes you read it correctly) caught wind of it and exposed Kai's truth. He was living a double life and was currently juggling two relationships. So I found myself picking up the pieces in my life and delving into my work full steam ahead until, 7 months later, my phone rings! I thought I was over him! So why does something as simple as seeing his name on my phone make my world crumble! I was stern when telling him to lose my number today, but I know if I never hear from him again I'll be even more hurt. Blogville, I have really met my match with this one! Okay I gotta finish this later it's close to presentation time. I hope I can keep it together long enough to land this deal...Wish me luck!
Let me introduce myself before I spill my guts for all to read. I am 27 year old woman that has been in a relationship for 7 years. I work in an art gallery, which I will not disclose, that I love love love!! I am in love with my job.
So why am I blogging? Well.... relationships are hard, and we all need an outlet, so this is mine. Here goes...
Like I said before I have been with the same man 7 years, and I wish that I loved my relationship as much as I love my job. Don't get me wrong I love my guy, but actually being in love with him is harder. I remember daydreaming about our love and our love making, so fulfilling, so sensual, so... lustful. Damn, it was delicious. We use to, well I use to, want nothing more but to have sex with him, now it's past the lust and now it's on to the love. Like I said lust is easy, but once you actually fall in love with a guy, that lust bubble floats away and reality sits in.
What can I do to keep that yearning of lust, but maintain the feeling of love?
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I was watching "The Notebook" the other day and cried the entire length of the movie! Is it just me or are the heated arguments in these films even dalloped with romance? Later that evening, I thought about how misleading these movies can be. So I share with you my harsh epiphany. We should take away the glamour that Holloywood has glazed love with. When merging into a relationship we should go in with our eyes wide open. Art does NOT always imitate life. Don't get me wrong true love is a beautiful necessity but we must realize that our patrner will inevetibly do things that will make you swear he/she took a class on the 'art of being hurtful'. We must fall in love with REAL love for it is no movie it's reality!!!!
Here I am at 28 and still VERY single. Why I am single is beyond me! I think I'm a catch. I have a masters in business, I'm attractive, driven, supportive and the life of any party! I have no problem attracting men, keeping them however is impossible. For some reason no matter how much I like a guy or how much he likes me, we never get pass that 6 month mark. Urrgghh!!! I'm pretty open to constructive critism and self reflection but I sware the guy's I date are ass holes in disguse!!! that's why we never work out! I would love to be in a long term relationship but I've found that it's easier for me to walk out of a relationship than it is for me to walk into one. My past expierences have built a huge wall over the years so I'm usually out at the first sign of trouble. So that is my love life in a nut shell *sigh*. I'm a little sleepy so I'm going to be brief tonight. I'd like to say I think it's great that CC has allowed me to give a personal account of my love life, suprisingly it is very theraputic lol. Okay gotta jet, maybe tomorrow I'll give you the run down on my most recent babes! Toodles!!!