Pretty interesting headline but it sums up my situation best. I met my ex when I was 19. The relationship grew into something very serious very quickly. Within a month we were in a committed relationship although in retrospect he was not ready to give up the chicks that were existent prior to my arrival. So very soon into relationship I began to receive phone calls from the "side chicks" detailing their sexual encounters with MY boyfriend. I was hurt, mad and upset each time I caught him cheating but stayed partly because I viewed these women as "side chicks" who weren't receiving the same benefits I was getting as the "main chick". They didn't meet his family, go on dinner dates, drive his car, or get their tuition paid. Needless to say the relationship lasted about 4 years too long and ended when he got one of his "side chicks" pregnant.
Soon after that break up I start a new relationship in the same fashion. Within in a month we were committed and the roller coaster began! We'd argue constantly and make up passionately but there was always a thought in the back of my mind that something was off. I just couldn't put my finger on it. I soon found out that I wasn't the only girl in his life and in fact was HIS "side chick"! I was devastated to say the least. He tried so hard to keep me in his life but wanted to also continue his relationship with his "main chick". How in the world did I go from being someone’s main chick to the side chick? I ended that situation. Now I am on a quest to be a man’s ONLY chick. So let the dates begin! I will keep you all posted on my dating adventures. With my track record it should be quite interesting.
(Want to comment? 1. Click 'Comment' 2. Click 'Name/URL' 3. Type in a bogus name 4. Submit)
Good luck and I can't wait to hear what happens during this next chapter!
ReplyDeletegood luck! You'll need it! lol
ReplyDeleteI mean... um??? This is like reverse Kharma! The fact that you were naive enough to stay in your first relationship knowing what you knew sounds like a case of insanity!
ReplyDeleteIt is like you saw the train coming and you stood there and waited for it!
I don't know that my last boyfriend cheated because of karma. I didn't cheat on either of them. Yes, I was silly to stay in the first relationship so long but didn't deserve to be cheated on by another. I made sure not to repeat my "naivety" and chose not to stay in the second relationship when I found out he too had cheated.
ReplyDeleteI said reverse for a reason... maybe I should have explained better!
ReplyDeleteAt least you admit you were being silly. We all are silly when it comes to relationships at times, so I do understand that.
I guess it is more of a leason learned!
i am over here agreeing with Angela. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got
ReplyDeleteI could be wrong and blind but I see these two relationships very differently. The first, she stayed with knowing he wasn't faithful as MOST women do for different reasons. The second, she stayed regardless of the apparent arguments and because she didn't heed her intuition. I don't see a pattern other than the men cheating. One in which she stayed with and the other in which she left. Women are always so quick to throw stones knowing good and well the target is a mere image of themselves.
ReplyDeleteBria, I'm glad you learned your lesson from the first loser and didn't repeat staying with the second loser. Good luck on your future dating. I look forward to reading about them.
I agree with Keisha! #teamkeisha
ReplyDeleteCame accross this blog because one of my FB friends posted it.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to Bria ALOT I have been in this situation before and can understand. All the comments so far are pretty accurate (though I feel like some could have been said better) , accurate nontheless.
If I had one thing to tell Bria is STOP!!! Stop, breath, and meditate on what you want and need. I feel into the cycle of finding one cheater after another and it drain me to the core.
I had to take time out, not date, and find myself. It is kind of like the poem this blog posted.
Good luck and protect yourself or you will be in a vicious cycle of horrible men.
*I am using an alias because I want to post freely in the future.
Also, great blog. Like it alot
I have a lot of grammer and typos, sorry I am at work typing fast
ReplyDelete