Rescuer Anthem: 'Clean up Woman'
Rescuing and fixing your man will make you feel indespensable and secure in your belief that as long as he needs you, he'll always love you too. But take a closer look and you'll spot the serious side effects of this safety-seeking love substitute. Rescuing and fixing always leave the Rescuer feeling:
-Alone. He will soak up the goodies, but never change his ways, and never manage to give back as much as you give out. Or he will soak up the goodies, get fixed and walk away from the woman he "needs" towards the one he wants.
- Resented. Your fixing will eventually make him feel needy and dependent, so he'll reject, ignore, or show no appreciation for your efforts.
- Exhausted. He will become addicted to your rescuing and fixing, and progress to demanding more and more of it--- ultimately more than you can possibly give.
The above are excerpts from pages 29-30 of the book How to Love a Black Man written by Dr. Ronn Elmore
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